When it comes to football season, there are two types of broads out there. Those who don’t care about football and those who pretend to care about football. Both types seek to annoy the fuck out of you when the games are on.
First up, the women who don’t give a fuck about football. It’s natural for a woman to not care about sports because sports are the fucking shit and women only like stupid crap: cooking, parenting and tampons. How do I know this? I saw Pinterest one time.
Unfortunately, 2012 was a banner year for mass murder in ‘Merica. Between the Batman and Sandy Hook killers, we’ve had an overabundance of senseless violence. Killing isn’t even a blip on the media’s radar unless there’s a double digit body count. Like clockwork, the liberal pussies and right-wing ‘Mericans simultaneously call for the elimination/proliferation of guns, leaving the rest of us wondering: what about the fucking tards?
The anti-gun crowd is dumb as fucking dog shit. What if we could go back in time and un-invent modern weaponry? Imagine a world without guns. John Lennon’s corpse just ejaculated on itself. No one in ‘Merica has a gun, no one in ‘Merica can kill a shitfuckton of people really goddamn quick. (Except Timothy McVeigh, or any other mass murdering tard with advanced knowledge of the explosive properties of fertilizer.) But you know what this would take? A FUCKING TIME MACHINE. Now, if I have a Delorean with a Flux-Capacitor I’m taking Grays Sports Almanac back to 1955 and dong slaying hookerskanks on piles of cash. Fuck your gun problems.